the blyss chick

Why I think being a Superwoman is Complete Bullshit

I want to speak to women who do it all but feel like they are never good enough. Women who are exhausted and can’t shut their minds off at night. Women who are busy every minute of the day for everyone else.

Women who have lost their spark, their passion, their Blyss.

If you do anything today, please let it be this – let me tell you my story. At the very least, it is 7 minutes that you took as break for yourself; and at best it can transform the way you look at life and how you live it.

I am 50 years old, married to my high school sweetheart, Chad.  And because he is such a stud, we now have 10 children all born within 15 years.

Told he was a stud.

I also ran two highly successful businesses and to say our life was crazy is an understatement. I became a skilled juggler – keeping every ball I had in the air.

I started my first business in when we only had 4 kids. As the years went by, we added a kid, I added to my business, and I added stress. I was living the American dream. I was successful.  But as the years went by, I was managing more and balls; making me juggle faster than I ever expected.  That was the first-time other women started calling me a Superwoman. Always given as a compliment, people asked me how I was doing it all. It made me feel good – it was confirmation I was on the right track. So, I kept going. 

But then, some of the balls started falling.  First, The Crista Ball.

  • I stopped reading which I love
  • Didn’t go out with friends
  • I was ignoring my incredibly handsome husband
  • There was NOTHING for me anymore

No worries. I could sacrifice myself in order to do everything else. So, I did.

The next to fall was my Spirituality Ball

  • I stopped taking the time to pray
  • I no longer had to time to look into concepts that interested me
  • I found myself questioning everything
  • I felt disconnected

Not important. Just keep going.

The next to fall was, the FAMILY Ball

  • I was spending more time on my work than with my husband and kids
  • I found myself constantly on my laptop & I wouldn’t even look up at my kids when they talked to me
  • I was constantly snippy
  • I was forgetting important things
  • I literally sent my kids to school fully dressed for Halloween on the wrong day
  • Epic mom failing.

10 kids and running businesses – no problem.  I’ve got this. Women are strong and multi-task like nobody’s business. I AM A SUPERWOMAN! Bring it on.

But the last ball to fall was my health

  • I was exhausted ALL THE TIME
  • I was gaining weight
  • I looked bloated and pale
  • I was angry all the time
  • I was crying a lot
  • My hair was falling out
  • I had constant headaches
  • I had zero motivation

I had to literally push through the day to make it to the end. I felt as if I was pushing a train up a hill. I could get it done, but I hated every minute and felt completely depleted when I was finished. My joy was gone, my passion was gone, my energy was gone. There was no blyss in my life other than caffeine or cake.  Sugar and carbs were where I found my energy and the slight happiness in my day.

What makes this so sad is that I know I am not alone.

My husband finally forced me to go see a doctor and was told I had adrenal exhaustion (which 2/3 of women have without even knowing it).  My doctor made it clear I was about a month away from being in a hospital for 3 months at least. She then told me if I stayed on this path, I would be dead in 10 years. 

I was 41.

Can you relate?

I know you can, and this is why:

We are taught to want more, work for more, buy more, do more, be more.

Since the 70’s women have had to fight to prove to everyone that we can do anything a man can do and better – so that we can have more. Women have done that so well that somewhere during that battle we started believing we had to do it all & not just prove that we can.

This is called the Superwoman Complex and the main symptom is stress, which is killing women at an astonishing rate.

In the quest to have it all, we have lost our most precious resource – ourselves. Day in and day out, we do the same thing, care for others, work for others, help others all with a smile on our face & a pep in our step because it is what good girls are supposed to do. Other women can do it, if I don’t, I will be considered lazy or just not good enough.

When the last time was you did something for yourself that brought you joy?  Without feeling guilty about it?

Look, I know you are overwhelmed with responsibilities; feeling that you are on a never-ending wheel of chaos. You wake up utterly exhausted, so you survive on caffeine and sugar only to be faced with the inevitable crash later in the day. Hopefully, you get one meal in but that will be the first thing to go.  Too much to do. Pick up kids from school – running them to practice, helping with homework, cleaning up the house and making dinner. Once the house is quiet you pour yourself a glass of wine, or grab a brownie left over from the bake sale that day and drag yourself to bed. Then you lay there, sleepless while your mind goes over what you didn’t get done and still have to do. If you’re lucky, you take a sleeping pill just to fall asleep – but then in the morning, you are groggy and need to caffein up just so you can function.

THIS IS NOT NORMAL.

I know you; I see you; I hear you because I AM you.

Today I challenge you to take off your cape (as glorious and beautiful as it is) and embrace you as you truly are. Can you remember when you were a little girl and all you wanted to do was play? Do you remember how free it felt? If yes, let’s embody that energy again. If no, you absolutely need to take the time to find her and what she wants out of life – asap.

It is time to recognize that the main character in your story – the heroine, is you!

You can be content, you can love life, you can find your Blyss again. Join me in a community of like-minded women as we take our power back and live our Blyss unapologetically.

Let’s get Blyssed!

Crista Tharp

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *